I chose a different path, stopped those vices for that one reason, the one.
I stopped viewing my past ways, waved goodbye as the bus drove away, I knew my choice, I knew what I got myself into, change became the best thing but now it’s unknown.
Whenever I try and find out, I end up deeper in the darkness, lost by sight, blind as a bat I walk and every stone I dig into is a reminder that you still can reach into me, distorted mentally, a malfunction is arising.
When you fall in love, you live knowing support is guaranteed unlimitedly and unconditionally, but is it if you feel it break as bones and the reminder just loops in your head constantly, shouts those words and it’s that one voice you can’t silence.
Am currently wanting the worst for me, strolling down these African pimped streets and all I feel is weakness in my pace, behind the frames that cover my face, tears fight to flow from my eyes, in my chest I feel the draining, leaking away with the reality that what’s happening is actually true.
History repeats itself. 
Last sight showed numb, her face was straight with a hint of a grin peeking from the edge, these flashbacks tormented the dreams I once held sweet, no respect equals no love, you had none, so son turned cold, dead at soul but remember you have none.
First was the awakening.
Later was the effortless attempt to stay afloat but I still drowned, it felt like quicksand, the more I struggled the deeper I sunk, all this is happening, all over again.
Killed by her, my prison and addiction, new faces show up, masks with a play of words that are sharp, never use someone’s weakness against them, especially if they handed the truth to you on a silver platter.


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